Monday, July 12, 2010


I say this way too much. In fact my 6 year old I watch looked at me the other day and said "Dude"

Everyone does Not me Monday well I am going to do Random Monday because I think about stuff every day on the way to work and then I forget about it later.

When I see trash bags on the side of the road (random ones not the kind that the guys in orange fill up) I think its a dead person or puppies/kittens. My mom told me a story about finding a bag of puppies left to die and now that is all I can think of...and I watch way too many csi type shows.

Once we were staying in the OBX and a dead body washed up on shore. My mom woke me up to tell me about it and was upset that she was not the one to find it since she decided against her morning run. We talked about how we would've mapped out the crime scene. The victim was not a murder victim but a drowning victim from a few days/weeks?

I never understood Dh's love for his xbox until Sunday when I got my new DSLR camera. OMFG I would sleep with it if I could. I used it all day and even had to charge the battery. I think the 3 year old thinks I am her personal paparazzi now. Bacardi (cat #1) is now on to me and as soon as I took out the camera he went behind the couch. Too bad for him my camera came with a better lens I have awesome zooming capabilities.

Dh and I have created a monster and her name is Stoli (dog #2) She sleeps with us, she wanders the house during the day, I feed her table scraps when Dh is not looking, I cuddle her, I buy her stuffed animals for her to tear apart. She has recently decided that although she is a mama's girl and ALWAYS has to be next to me or sitting on my foot has decided she loves her daddy too. She has to sleep in between us. If we decide to tell her no she will climb and lay on top of us. The sad thing is I tell Dh to move over so Stoli can have more room. We have a king size bed... I am not saying I don't love my other dogs/cats but Stoli is the baby even though she is not the youngest. If Bam Bam and Tini didn't pee or poop in the house even after they went out they wouldn't have to be crated during the day/night. I know the other animals will probably tolerate baby C but I wonder about Stoli.

I love my husband and we are about to celebrate two years of marriage. Somehow my husband managed to inherit the stupid gene and there is no think before I speak option on his mouth. My husband is 5'10" and weighs about 155 now. When I met him he was about 125. I quickly accepted the fact that I would never weigh less than my husband. I am a fat girl and I always have been well except for the time I starved myself and worked out for hours a day. That was fun. I don't do temptation if it is in my house you cannot expect me to say no to it.
If you scroll down you can read about when my husband called me fat. Well he didn't come right out and say it but he stared, he made comments, and stared some more. He also came right out and said "an unhealthy way to get to a healthy weight...whatever long as you stop once you get to your goal weight" Anyone with an eating disorder will tell you you don't just stop when you are happy... because well I don't think you are ever happy. I ate twice in 7 days and then Dh had a problem with me not eating. WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

I am fat and I want to be healthy for baby C and I need to diet. I also have a husband who said tonight "We have nothing to eat" He is too lazy to open the freezer/pantry and fix something for himself. We have bbq, hot dogs, meat balls, pasta, amongst other sides and goodies in our pantry/freezer. He doesn't eat fruit and eats limited veggies. God forbid I feed him something twice in one week. I am about to say eff it and make him fend for himself so I can diet the healthy way and not by starving myself because I know that is just stupid.