Monday, June 28, 2010

She's only happy in the Sun

I took this about a week ago on my way to dinner. If it was always sunny then there wouldn't be rainbows.

I had an uneventful week last week yet I feel like I was run over by a truck. Being off birth control has left me looking like a 13 year old that doesn't wash her face...I swear I do though. I feel like a fat cow. I feel like I do everything yet nothing is getting done. Most days I am invisible trying to even be translucent. I feel like I am just going through the motions and the only way people see me is if they accidentally step on me. Dh lately has seemed to have lost his filter on his mouth and on more than one occasion this week one comment has brought me to tears.

I was able to get away for the weekend to see one of my best friends. I met her online through the knot and I am sad she lives 3 hours away. I miss the days of the knot when we had gtg's and hung out and I felt like I had a life. When I was feeling less invisible. I had friends. We try to e-mail and facebook and text but both of us have husbands and furry kids and school and sometimes it is hard. We finally picked a weekend and decided to stick with it. Being in the car alone on the drive was nice. No one complained how fast I was driving or how loud the music was. We had a great time talking and shopping and eating. I was able to check a few things off my 101 in 1001 days list too. I did open my mouth and say something stupid which just added to the weight of things I hate about myself this week. I thought about it the entire drive home about what an idiot I am. When I got home dh was complaining about something and made another comment that I cried about.

This is Neko. He was checking out all the cool stuff we got while shopping.

This is Jewel and Knight. They are greyhound rescue's and they are the sweetest and softest doggies. I wanted to take them home with me.


stacey said...

How fun that you met your bff on the Knot! I've met so many great women on the Nest. I swear, they've saved my sanity much more than a handful of times. As for the hormonal hell...I don't envy that, but it will be worth it!

Whitney said...

Cheer up, Buttercup! No, I fully understand your feelings here, and I do hope things start looking up for you. I sometimes go through periods like that, and it's rough, there's no joking about that. Hope your funk doesn't stay too long though!

Kimberly said...

Hi, I found you you Mckmama's BF. I feel for you. I hope you are feeling better soon...I am sorry for the frustration you're going through. Sounds like you're a fabulous nanny :-) Many blessings to you in your journey! ~Kimberly

Cameron said...

We absolutely have to start getting together more often. I hate that we're both so super busy all the time :( I promise to be better with emails... you deserve it from me! I know what you mean about missing the good times on the knot, I miss it sometimes, too. But at least we have made a few friendships that will last a lifetime. Call me if you need to! DH is out of town until the 5th :)